Essentially, the relationship between a horse and his rider starts with comfort and accountability. Your horse must be comfortable with you, both on the ground and in the saddle, and he should be able to count on you to keep him safe.
Take the sport of show jumping, for example. One of the most frequent problems encountered in this discipline is refusal. The horse approaches the fence, then either slams on the brakes or runs out at the last minute. You might attribute this behavior to rebellion, when it is usually evidence of a lack of trust.
A seasoned horse might develop the habit of refusal if his rider is constantly catching him in the mouth over the fence. He can't trust his rider not to cause him pain when he jumps an obstacle, so he avoids the experience entirely. In order to correct this habit and any other trust issue, you'll need to show your horse that he can trust you.
Beginning on the Ground
Very few trust issues can be solved with the rider in the saddle. This advice might run contrary to everything you have ever been told, but consider the facts. In the saddle, it is much more difficult to eliminate rider mistakes. On the ground, the rider is on an even playing field with the horse.
Start building your trust relationship with your horse by spending some time in the round pen. You can lunge your horse with a lunge line or free lunge—whichever he is more comfortable with. Start working with him on voice commands: walk, trot, canter/lope, whoa. When he begins to respond correctly, reward him.
Trust can also be built without actually working your horse in the round pen or on his back. Spend time with your horse in his stall, brushing him for at least twenty minutes at a time, or grazing him in the yard. Let him get to know the sound of your voice as well as your own habits.
Consistency in Trusting Your Horse
The largest obstacle most riders face when trying to build a trusting relationship with their horse is consistency. If your horse can't count on you to deliver the same commands, rewards and punishments each and every time he repeats a behavior, he's going to lose trust quickly.
For example, what do you do when your horse starts pawing in the cross-ties? Do you smack him on the shoulder, tell him to "stand!" in a firm voice, bop him on the nose? Your response should be the same each time he paws, and your reward should be the same when he stands still.
Trusting Your Horse
As with most things in the equestrian sport, trust is a two-way street. Not only must your horse trust you to take care of him and treat him fairly, but you must trust your horse to take care of you. If you are constantly afraid that your horse is going to buck you off or run out on a fence or fall on his forehand during a slide, trust issues will develop on both sides.
If you feel that you cannot overcome trust issues with your horse, it might be time to seek the counsel of an experienced trainer. A third party can pinpoint problems you wouldn't otherwise have noticed and offer specific advice tailored to your situation. Sometimes, it's best to admit you need help.
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